How to be a nice human being.

I had to stop by the dollar store on my way home from work yesterday to pick up some butterfly strips, as my oldest daughter cut her leg on some glass and needed something beyond regular band-aids. (Her leg is fine, by the way.) Anyhow, I'm waiting in line behind three or four other customers and I noticed a People magazine with the headline "President Trump". It got me thinking about how divided we seem to be as a country right now. So much name calling, so much fear, so much talk about race and politics and...man I'm just tired of it all.

So there I am, standing in line, thinking these thoughts while I'm waiting to pay for my $1 butterfly strips. I look behind me and this young black man walks up and gets in line behind me. He's about my age, wearing jeans and a hoodie, and carrying a few household items including children's gloves and glazed frosted animal crackers. Figuring he must have kids and being the extrovert that I am, I struck up a conversation that went something like this:

Me: Hey how's it going?
Him: I'm good, you?
Me: I'm doing well, just getting off work. (pause) So do you have kids, or just a fan of animal crackers?
Him: (smiles) Yeah I've got five kids.
Me: (gets excited) No way! We are expecting our seventh!
Him: (reaches out and fist bumps) Man, that's the way you do it!
Me: Yeah, we love big families.
Him: Lots going on.
Me: Right? Families are busy! So are you from around here?
Him: Yep, Canton born and raised.
Me: My wife's from Canton and I grew up on the other side of the state.
Him: OK. You live near here?
Me: Yeah, just up the road in Plain.
Him: Gotcha, cool.
Me: Well listen, nice talking with you. Have a good night, enjoy those kids.
Him: You too man, good night. (another fist bump)

About this time I'm realizing that all those thoughts about division and race and politics and hate are, well, only as true insofar as we let them be. I know nothing about that man's beliefs and he knows nothing about mine. Sure, we could assume. We could project. We could avoid. But I choose not to. I choose to give the benefit of the doubt. I choose to engage. I choose to be a nice human being. Hopefully you will too, and we will start to get back to the things that bind us, rather than divide us.

Dad stuff

My friend Mary over at LetLoveBeSincere suggested that I write more about the Catholic father/husband perspective. That's a really challenging task, because there are a lot of aspects of fatherhood to be covered. There are dad blogs out there but not near as many as mom blogs, and perhaps it's because men think they don't have a lot of things to share. But that's wrong. We do have things to share...we're just busy doing lots of those things. Case in point: as I'm typing this, literally the words you're reading now, my beautiful almost-three-year-old walks to the front door, smiles her precious smile, and holds up a little bottle saying "they're bubbles daddy!"...and proceeds to spill most of the bubble mix on the entry tile.

Isn't that what being a daddy is? Doing things with and for our kids because we love them and they need us? Cleaning up the bubble spills, mowing the lawn, doing the dishes, laundry cleaning and folding, changing the diapers, or vacuuming floors keep us busy whether we have one child or ten...deep down it's not about cleaning up the seemingly endless stream of toys the kids seem to poop out on their way through every room, it's about knowing they're engaged and feeling loved...taking "Dad time" to read a story, play Legos, or (most importantly) talking with them about Jesus and His love for us. These things are (or should be) more important than presiding over cleanup. (>pause< previously mentioned almost-three-year-old is shouting "Daddy! I go'd poopoo on the pot!".....OK I'm back)

As dads we can get distracted by the daily stuff. The aforementioned tasks can be time-consuming and endless. Plus, the little irritations we face can keep us distracted from what's truly important. I know I'm not going to go broke because the kids leave every basement light on or the doors open for me to find when I get home from work, but I wish they'd turn off the lights and close the doors to preserve the electric bill and a bug-free home! But you know what? If I have to choose between turning the lights off and the alternative of not enjoying my little energy-users, I'll choose enjoying the kiddos every time. Being a father teaches us that showing our children love is more important than worrying about the messes, the open doors, the house lit up like a moon beacon. Wanting our children to understand that respecting their things is a worthwhile effort, but first and foremost we want them to know that by showing love to them and to each other, we're reflecting God. And we set the tone.