The Power of Music

I am a huge fan of music. I enjoy it immensely. I have had an appreciation for music since I was a little kid, growing up in a house where there was music playing regularly and dance parties to the oldies station or Dad's LP's were a regular occurrence. We would move the furniture out of the center of the living room and groove our little feet to the likes of George Benson, Linda Rondstadt, The Doors, Michael Jackson, etc etc etc. Classical music was also a big hit at our house, we'd listen to various albums (on audiotape, no less) while on road trips all over the country. I grew up with an appreciation for various types of music, and my range of music taste only expanded through high school and college as I began to add contemporary groups like Collective Soul, Matchbox Twenty, 3 Doors Down, Goo Goo Dolls, Creed, and U2 to my favorites. I would listen to music whenever I had a chance. Like my cousin-in-law (is that actually a term) John once said, "Music is Chris' anti-drug".

At the end of my freshman year in college a friend gave me a copy of the Gladiator soundtrack to borrow. I promptly copied it and played it over and over all through finals. At that point in time, listening to the powerful movement of the wordless music, I began to really realize the power that music has over the human heart and mind. In a very real way, music can help us stay in or move out of emotional states. If we're upset many of us will either listen to angry music to stay upset, or listen to uplifting music to help lift us back up. If we're feeling happy we're probably going to listen to something that will keep us happy. I like to listen to high-energy, hard-driving music while I'm running, as it keeps my adrenaline flowing and prevents me from hearing my own loud breathing. I'm sure many of you have similar habits.

I had a fascinating revelation while sitting in my Human Physiology class last fall. My professor was talking about the auditory nerves and the fact that science can explain how we can hear, but it cannot explain the "musical experience". This really gave me pause. We have established scientific explanations for our ability to receive, process, and interpret the meaning of soundwaves as they hit our eardrum, travel through the olfactory nerve, and are recognized as sound by the corresponding area of our brain. What we can't explain is how our brain manages to translate sound into emotions of all kinds. I know that when I hear a particularly moving song I am unable to resist the sensory flood that it produces; I am unashamed to say that I cry at hearing Ave Maria, get chills when listening to the Hallelujah Chorus, and am hypnotized by the sound of Ravel's Bolero. There is no scientific explanation for music's affect on the brain, its ability to stimulate an emotional/hormonal response in our bodies, or the total experience that music manifests. With nothing else to explain it, I thank God for the gift of music and the link it gives us to the divine.

Being a Daddy

Daddy...Daddy...Daddy...DAAADDDDYYYY!!!! Have you ever heard that sound before? I hear it all the time. Rather, my eardrums pick up the sound of one of my little's voices but my brain doesn't always register it...at all. Yes, I am one of the 99%. One of the 99% of dads suffering from post-audible assault syndrome. It's a result of my kids rather whiny voices shooting at me with impatience as I'm on the phone, in the bathroom, studying, helping one of their siblings, etc...but the general result is that my brain is self-conditioned to hear them less. And I do feel bad about that. I love my kiddos, I love them more than anything else God has given me save my wife. But being a daddy isn't easy and it isn't always fun.

When we first got married and were getting ready to start a family I had this idea that child-rearing was basically a matter of example. Baby see, baby do. I'll just be a good daddy and do the right things and the kids will soak it all up and they will do good things too! BWAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha...*sob*...ha!!!! I know right, how naive!

All joking aside, the truth is that parenting is difficult. It's a constant task that requires real love and dedication. Kids are definitely little sponges and they happen to have a mind of their own. The combination of their own little wills, my manifest parental imperfections and inexperience, and you end up with kids that still need direction, discipline, constant reminders, etc...all day long. This cuts to the core of the issue: having kids is all about being a parent, not just having kids. It's about doing the difficult things that shape our little ones into responsible individuals, good Christian citizens, caring souls.

Ultimately, the trials of parenting are outweighed by the joys. I get so much happiness from my little ones, watching them grow and develop in some ways that remind me so much of Monica and me and in other ways their individuality blossoms. My littles are so excited to play with me, it really is humbling how much they look up to me and seek my time and attention. Whether it's having "Daddy wrestle time", dance parties, reading time or sing-alongs in the car, they treasure the time I give to them as much as I treasure their presence. So, I need to begin the reversal process on my daddy hearing problem and tune in a little better to the message beneath their yelling. It's not just "Daddy, I need!", but "Daddy, I need you." They're a blessing no matter how I look at it, a source of joy and fun and love. I pray that I will continue to be the daddy they deserve and thank God for the four little gifts He has entrusted to me.

The Value of a Friend

Do you ever have that moment when a friend calls you out of the blue to say "I was thinking about you today...I hope things are going well in your life" right when you expect it the least but you need it the most? It's a really good feeling, and I've had a couple friends call me recently right when I needed to take five and talk with a buddy.

While I appreciate the times that friends call from far and wide to offer encouragement and give reprieve from my studying, I often overlook the fact that my closest friend and confidant lives right under the same roof. Yes, it's true...my wife Monica is my very best friend. Almost seven years of marriage, four kids/two houses/career changes and being back in school she's still the one I love the mostest. But amidst the daily grind of classes at Kent, drive time to and from campus, studying at home, Monica teaching T in kindergarten, wrangling the other littles, getting breakfast, lunch, dinner, baths, diapers, bedtime...I (often) forget that she would like to hear about how my day went, whether anything exciting went on, and whether I'm actually interested in the things that SHE experienced that day.

Monica sat down at my side yesterday while I was engrossed in some nursing terminology on my laptop; she just sat there for a few minutes until, evidently exasperated with my continued zombie-like focus on a digital screen she sweetly closed the computer, looked at me with her beautiful blue-green eyes, and mentioned that I was the one who spends 8-10 hours of my day in an environment not dominated by little people under the age of six, and I actually get to have regular grown-up conversation. Yeah, I forget that sometimes. The fact is, I do get to talk with interesting people and learn some pretty interesting stuff every day, while my lovely wife dedicates her entire day to caring for our kids. I know other husbands and wives out there experience this same situation or one very similar on a regular basis. I'm going to try hard to break the trend and spend a little additional time dedicated to my very best friend. Shoot, I think I'm gonna log out of this thing and go talk with her now...until later my friends!

A Good Find

There are certain times in life when you know you've found something special. They could be huge (like meeting and marrying my lovely wife or being blessed with each of our four kids), or they could be small and relatively insignificant...the common theme is that they contribute value to your life in some way. Today's find was...a restaurant.

I visited, for the first time, a place in Kent well-known to locals, called Mike's Place. You can't miss it on the way into Kent, because sitting outside the place is a full-sized X-Wing fighter, just like you'd expect to see flying out of the movies. The fantastic doesn't stop when you walk in the door; there are various themed rooms to eat in, many of which are not rooms at all...there is a full-sized 50's era bus with tables and large booths in it, a boat to eat in, a tequila bar, and memorabilia of all sorts plastered throughout. I had been curious to try this place out because any restaurant with an X-Wing starfighter MUST be awesome.

Thinking that taking a field trip with some of my nursing cohort friends would be a good way to foster camaraderie I suggested we breakfast there. Of the 8 of us that went, probably half had been there before. Being part of the unseasoned 50% I was excited to experience the amazing atmosphere, aptly described by my brother-in-law who said "it's a freak show, I like it". The most freakish? The prices! And no, they were not fiendishly high, but freakishly low. My meal of choice was the "Bestest Breakfast", replete with 2 sausage links, two eggs, two strips of bacon (but I got the equivalent of 4-5 crispy strips), well-seasoned hash browns, and your choice of toast, french toast, or pancakes. And yes, I did choose the pancakes. This mountainous breakfast was sold for a plainish price of...wait for it...$2.99! Too good to be true? Well, they market it as a way to "beat the economy blues" and I'd say that's a very apt way to put it. This could be worth a weekly trip...

Some changes have occurred

Yes, friends, some changes have occurred since my last post. Many of you are up to date on the happenings of the last year of our little family's life; for the rest of you, I'll give a brief synopsis and piece together more detail in future posts. (Feel free to go back to my previous posts to read about how I decided to pursue nursing as a new career.)

First off, I have been in school for the past year. Until this January I was taking classes in preparation for my application to nursing school. I was accepted to Kent State's accelerated bachelor of science in nursing program and started classes earlier this month. I'm loving all that I'm learning and have realized over the past year that my previous phobia of the sciences was greatly unfounded. I love human physiology and am excited to apply the information I've learned already to nursing school and practice.

Those of you that remember my blog will probably notice that some changes have been made to the structure and title. The previous moniker of "The Man Cave" was cool in its time, but seeing that I no longer own a home and as a result no longer have a man cave (which was very cool, by the way), I figured it was time to reinvent my blog. After all, I've been reinventing myself for the past year. Thus, my new title. With changing geography, professional status, and family size (we did welcome our 4th child into the world since my last post) has come a lot of introspection. I have learned an awful lot about myself, the meaning of family and friends, and society itself in the past year. I will undoubtedly continue to gain more glimpses of life as I continue down this path, most likely following a "the more I see the less I know" pattern so aptly described by the fantastic U2. My humble hope is to share some of my experiences of marriage, fatherhood, and nursing school in a humorous and enjoyable way, with an occasional morsel of valuable insight, should I ever run into one. For now, it's back to the books. My reinvented life calls!

My Mission

Dear Friends,

As most of you know I have been out of work for almost two months now, since I was cut loose from my Customer Service Manager position at L.E. Smith. Since that time God has blessed Monica and I with immense peace and increased faith in His providence as we seek His will for our lives. I have been reaffirmed that I am not defined by the job I hold, but by the life I live as a man of Christ and my willingness to follow Him.

With this time away from work I have really focused on finding the things that I'm passionate about and pursuing them.

I was blessed with the opportunity to spend a weekend in Steubenville with fellow graduated members of the Lion of Judah household (Christian fraternity), along with the many guys currently there (see profile pic for most of the attendees). I was able to have coffee with a fellow LOJ graduate who had previously pursued other career paths before deciding to go back to school and get a degree in something that he really loves and is passionate about. His story and passion really inspired me to consider giving up my pursuit of a traditional office job and find what my calling really is. Around the time of the reunion I received a call asking whether I was interested in doing home health care for an elderly gentleman who needs overnight care and assistance. I was initially skeptical to leave my family three or four nights per week, but agreed to take the work.

Almost immediately after beginning I realized that God was using my work in home health care to give me a much deeper appreciation for the need for compassionate care. It wasn't until this time that I have really felt a deep sense of union with Christ through helping another person, as I literally help this old gentleman struggle into bed, hold his hand as he cried for his deceased wife, and helped him with basic needs needs like getting into and out of the tub that his elderly body are struggling with. He has used this experience along with my job loss, conversations with friends, etc to give me a clear realization that I am fulfilled and joyful helping others. I spent almost six years in customer service, desiring to help others but constantly baffled by those who take advantage of the typical "customer-supplier" relationship. I now see that my skills are better suited to caring for individuals with needs different than those in the business world...and have decided to pursue my degree in nursing.

Throughout my life I have struggled to trust Christ implicitly. Even those times when I felt like He was leading me in one direction or another I still felt like I had to question His direction, give it my feelings before trusting Him. I mean, a 28 year old married guy with a fourth baby on the way would naturally seem like he lost his good sense for deciding to go back to school for two years. However, since I've begun to see the signs that Christ has put in my life lately I have not been afraid. I'm excited to follow Him wherever He leads me. I am excited to experience the new paths that He is laying out before me. It's no coincidence that everything is coming together to let me pursue this track into nursing. God is opening doors and I will pass through them without second-guessing His desires.

Fortunately for people like me who already have a bachelor's degree in a different field, schools like Kent State offer Accelerated BSN programs to allow "second degree" students obtain their nursing bachelor's degree in four consecutive semesters, or approximately 15 months. I have a few prerequisite courses to take over the spring and summer, but will apply for acceptance into the program at Kent State for next fall. If all goes well I'll have my nursing degree by December of 2012.

We just listed our home with the realtor who has helped us purchase both our homes. However, if our house does not sell before January I may end up having to commute to and from Canton to work on my pre-req's. If you know of anyone with an older or high-miles car they've been looking to sell cheap or donate to my cause please let me know!! Please continue to join us in prayer to St. Joseph, asking his intercession to our Lord with the intention of the sale of our home. As plans become more clear we are realizing how much easier life will be with our house sold and being close to school. We are also praying that the Lord will provide affordable housing for us once we make the move to the Kent area while I pursue the nursing coursework.

Please pray for me, Monica, and the four little ones as we begin this next phase of our journey. God willing we will have only minimal bumps in the road and a happier, more peaceful life with a career change that serves God thru His intended plan for me. Know that I will be praying for all of you!

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