The weeks are flying by.

Yes, time is flying. Just when I think that I'm going to have a little time to take a breath...poof, there goes my free time. I've been pretty busy with assembly over the past couple of weeks and I'm happy to say that the trend is continuing at least into the next week. God is really blessing me with the extra income. On the other hand, my van is in the shop, so some of that hard-earned money will go straight back into the cash-sucker that is my vehicle.

I watched Star Wars: A New Hope last night. What a great movie. It's been like three years since I watched the original trilogy. That's too long for this guy.

Our garden is coming along. By the time it's all said and done this garden is going to be seriously kickin'. I've got the area tilled up, thanks to my neighbor letting me use his roto-tiller. I've got to get the fence posts planted and the chicken (or poultry, for you PC folks out there) wire installed and this garden is going to be amazing.

Dude, it's been like 2 weeks.

So, it's been a while since I've graced the world wide web with my insightful commentary on whatever the heck I want to go off on. 13 long days, to be exact. A lot has happened in these 13 days. Last weekend we went to visit some friends of ours, and Kevin and I made him a new garden. Now, that thing was hot. I'm talking sizzlin' hot. It's completely boxed in with poultry wire and even sports a knockout door that just calls out "enter and be filled with fresh, green veggieliciousness." It really gave me the itch to get out and plant our garden. I have to say that last year really gave me a love for growing vegetables. It gives one a satisfaction, an even keener sense of providing, to actually cultivate, grow, and harvest a season's worth of fresh, vitamin-packed organic goodness, grown from the very bowels of mother earth. Yes, real satisfaction is found right in my own back yard.

Yesterday my wife and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary. It's been a great three years and I can't believe how quickly it has gone by and how far we've come with our family, home, etc in just a short 36 months. Hopefully I'll keep kickin' it for the next 50 years (or 600 months, if you want to look at it that way).

Really grinds my gears.

You know what really grinds my gears? Email addresses that market a person's self-image to the world. For instance, I talked with a customer this morning who's name is Ace (?) and his email address is misterfrikincool@ yadda yadda. Now dude, that ego right there. It's like the guy who goes in for an interview and has his resume labeled with an address of greatbiggunboats@ muscles.com. Do you really need to tell the world via your eletronic mail tag what you think about yourself? It's been my experience that when somebody thinks they're something great, they're usually delusional. Why can't people have email addresses that just get the job done? Like jrsmith@ whatever. Or even something ambiguous, like boater72@ ilikesailing. I took an email address from a guy the other day and it was something to the tune of str8outtahe...you get the idea. Why can't a web moniker be used to express onesself without labeling the individual as an egotistical prick or a possessed psycho? You're feeling me here, right? So, I think I'm going to go change my email address from slavelabor@ weemplyslaves to bestdadintheworld@ mykidsrbettrthnurs.

A Fireplace

There are few things in this world that are as manly as a fireplace. A fireplace really allows a man to show the world what he's made of and is, in essence, a microcosm of his manliness. There are several angles to this theory, so I'll explore a few.

The basis of my fireplace hypothesis revolves around the fact that a fireplace, like a man, has many different facets (that are involved in it's use). The first: firewood. Firewood involves a number of manly exercises that allow a man to illustrate his muscular prowess. First, he must fell a tree. Now, to fell a tree you can use a variety of ways, but I personally prefer the chainsaw. Once felled the tree must be cut to length, then split using any variety of splitting implements. My brother-in-law and I can attest to the value of a heavy maul, a double-bladed ax, and a wedge with sledge hammer. This is certainly my favorite step in the firewood-getting process, and probably the step that brings us closest to our Braveheart/ninja/caveman (ding ding ding) roots.

The next facet in the fireplace theorum is the fire itself. Nothing says "Manly" like a roaring fire. 'Nuff said.

Lastly, nothing is more manly than a stately fireplace surrounded by brick or stone. What better backdrop in front of which to read philosophy, watch football, sleep, or do any other variety of things. I truly believe that every man worth his salt will have, at some point in his life, a fireplace.

Oh, and I have two.

No Good Topic

I know that I need to be posting, to continue feeding my adoring public with almost-good-enough-to-syndicate literary goodness. But today I feel uninspired. Textually deflated, if you will. There are a plethora of blog topics I could choose from, actually. Anything from my new buzz cut, to global warming's gift today of an unexpected snow storm, to my daughter's unwillingness to finish her potato soup. (She did finish it, BTW, and promptly devoured her ice cream with strawberries.) But, sadly, none of these are stimulated my creative side. The real problem probably lies in the fact that Louisville and Tennessee are currently playing the second half of their Sweet 16 game and I'd rather veg and watch basketball than actively type. So I'll leave this post unfulfilling and dull and pick up with more spark tomorrow. If you've got a topic you'd like to see this author pick apart, just drop me a comment. Otherwise, I'll probably be talking about my lack of weekend plans tomorrow. See you on the flip side.

Stubborn People

I work in customer service, so I've spoken with my fair share of irrational, stubborn people. I'm not talking about your average Joe Stubborn that will argue why he's right about basketball being superior to soccer, I'm one of those people and can admit it. No, I'm talking about the person who will call in needing help figuring out how to fix a problem they have, then turn around and tell you that your solution can't possibly be right. As if they know better than the professional they're calling what is the right way and what is the wrong way to adjust their desk drawer. It can get really annoying when, after offering countless solutions and explaining the issue from a variety of angles, the customer refuses to work with you. In an attempt to illuminate them to their own ridiculousness we say "Well, sir, what do you think is the problem?" Inevitably the response will be: "Well, you're the professional, you tell me!" That's about the point where I go from a glossy coat of stupid-dodging to a semi-transparent "you called me, so listen or go away" edge. Thank goodness for opportunities to grow in patience.

Leave it in 1993

I would first like to express what an honor it is to serve as a guest columnist here at TMC. I hope to serve the blog well. Now, let’s get down to it…

I don’t know why, but for some reason it bugs the $!%# out of me every time I see a fella walking around with an extra 6-18 inches of his braided belt hanging from his waistline. There was a time, namely 1990-1993, when it was extremely popular to buy and wear your braided belt too long. Do you know whom I blame for this? Marky Mark. I also blame M squared for hooded flannel shirts and fellas letting their underpants hang out the back of their jeans, but that will have to wait for another post.

Sure, there are times when a braided belt can accessorize an outfit nicely, but I would go so far as to say that a braided belt should never be worn unless accompanied by other fine accessories, like silk ties and cufflinks.

I will close with this tip for those who continue to allow their belts hang outside of the loops. They are the same two options that doctors give to those considering a “gender reassignment”: Tuck it in or cut it off.